Dave Miller was bitten by a snake while camping in the woods. A stream next to which he and his wife Cassie had pitched a tent was damned with rocks. The swimming hole, although refreshing, attracted copperheads and rattlesnakes. During the four weeks the newlywed couple camped and skinny dipped, they had spotted at least two dozen venomous snakes in the weeds surrounding the campsite. They had heard from someone that snakes do not bite unless they threatened. Easy-going Dave and Cassie took extreme caution in avoiding the cold-blooded reptiles, but one latched onto Dave’s skinny, muscular calf muscle and would not let go until Dave ripped it off with his bare hands and crushed it with a rock taken from the dam.
The campsite was located in Pennsylvania wilderness between Altoona and Petersburg. Cassie drove as quickly as possible through miles of woodland and open pastures in which there were no real roads. She needed to make it to the hospital before Dave’s head swelled, because they had heard somewhere that snakebites cause heads to swell. Already, Dave’s calf was swollen the size of a soft ball. Windows were down in the truck and fresh, warm evening air scented with pine brushed through Cassie’s flowing red hair. Her hair whipped around, like that of a mad woman. Dave breathed deeply. He was in a panic over the possibility of pending death. He wondered how long it would be before for the poison ravaged his body to the brink where he would start seeing the light. Dave braced himself, holding onto a seat belt with his right hand. He glanced as his wife’s voluptuous breasts bouncing on the steering wheel. The trucked raced as she stepped on the gas in a clearing. Dave wondered if it had been worth the risk to camp so far from civilization. He had no regrets. She was a world of fun on the grass and in the water.
A physician in the hospital emergency room laughed while walking with a clipboard past the skinny but muscular country boy in shock. Dave’s thick brown hair fell over his blue eyes as he tried to make sense of the laughter. He was half naked. A pair of cut-off jeans was all he had on. They seemed too big for him, yet clung to Dave’s ass because it was like that of a bubble. Those in the emergency room who initially were appalled at the sight of the dirty couple soon noticed their striking physical beauty and Dave, although appearing somewhat savage-like, caused even the nurses to stop their rounds to take notice of man with a glow about him.
Dave was holding the snake he had killed. An old woman with arthritis waiting for relief of pain that would not subside, suddenly felt better as a wave of bliss passed over her as she took note of shirtless Dave. Cassie concluded that doctors could more quickly identify what type of anti-venom to use to treat a life-threatening bite from a gigantic copperhead, so Dave was ordered to bring the snake along. Even the old woman knew the dead snake was not a poisonous one.
“How long ago were you bit?” The doctor inquired without escorting the couple to an exam room. Blood dripped from the mouth of the snake onto highly polished tile floors.
“It’s been ‘bout two hours, right Cassie?”
“Yep. Scared the livin’ shit outta me knowing how long it was gonna take to git him here.”
“That’s not a copperhead, it’s a water snake,” the doctor calmly explained. “You would have been dead by now if that was a copperhead.”
The old woman laughed, despite her pain, and could not take her eyes off Dave..
“Can’t be just a water snake,” Dave objected, using his free hand to careful comb his bang away to a position on his forehead where he could see more clearly, “I could have sworn this was a copperhead. It’s the color of a penny, hain’t it?”
“No, they have the color of your wife’s hair,” the old, forgetful woman shouted from her wheel chair, licking her lips in lustful fashion at Dave.
Annoyingly, the arthritic pain returned to her legs the moment she spoke, as Cassie turned to glare at her like Medusa with a head full of copperheads.