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Archive for December, 2010

2011 Prophecy

The arrival of 2011 marks the onset of a contagious ‘psychosis’; one that dirties the minds of even the most sane among us.

The ‘new generation’s obsession involving the ancient Mayan Calendar causes a resurgence of pay-as-you-go, fortune-tellers this year– resulting in worldwide exploitation of the gullible and new found popularity in the Ouija Board.

South America, Amazon River greater than the Nile, secrets buried not in sand but mud; it all comes to light in 2011. Scientific discovery in the Dirty South causes skepticism with the theory that man originated from apes in Africa.

The infestation of man-eating bugs sets new standards for home decor designs and Martha Stewart ‘Do- It- Your- Selfers” in Twenty-Eleven. A new fad, one started in New York City, demands that the rich sleep in plastic trash bags and mattresses made from recycled soda bottles.

Pink will be the favorite color in Spring Fashion Shows. This Fall, Black is the new White.

Homelessness abounds. Joblessness is a blessing in disguise, but for many, these 365 days will be a time to enjoy the benefits of new marijuana laws.

Being addicted to the ‘American Dream’ is as fruitless as being obsessed with the book of Daniel. For many, a new promised land emerges in 2011– a place where everyone is worthy of a home, where all understand that there are no chosen ones, an era where man’s quest for wealth turns to time when charity is the only real answer to our economic ruin.

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It is a shame that the military has lifted the ban on gays serving openly. Sex is so much better when one has to sneak around, risk public humiliation, and face the consequences of ruining one’s reputation.

Experience as a writer has taught this veteran that the best short stories are those written under the context of shame and oppression. What will erotic writers of tomorrow have to write about when there is no longer the thrill of committing ‘sin’ when that sin is no longer considered a sin?

At least ‘Don’t Ask Don’t Tell’ gave this Army veteran something to write about that future generations will turn to when researching the gay-rights movement.

I hope the FEM SISSY QUEENS line up like bedbugs on the Upperwest Side of Manhattan and join the ranks tomorrow. How fun the communal showers will be for the cock suckers of tomorrow!

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Another pretty fashion designer has been found dead in New York City. The tragic death occurred in a society clubhouse for the affluent called the Soho House.

The murderer is the son of the man who wrote the 1970’s smash hit song “You Light Up My Life”.

The Academy Award winning father of the accused is most noted in lower Manhattan circles for seducing and raping gorgeous little starlets who were only trying to find the Hollywood light. Apples do not fall far from the tree in the Big Apple. Out-of-work musician Nicholas Brooks likely strangled the Paris- studied designer although he appears calm, charming and somewhat sexy in footage of him being taken into custody. Certainly the story will spawn many books if not a movie.

The lap of luxury– a rooftop pool and spa in the heart of the city skyline –membership rates are $1,800 annually, but are reduced to $900 for those 27 and under. What fun it must be to be a member of Soho House.

Obviously, call-girls from craigslist conduct their business in places like Soho House. The press will not investigate or report on such matters, in fear, perhaps, of the truth coming to light about New York City’s new red light district.

The bathtub in which the sultry, high, murdered swimsuit designer was found face-up floating was a sculpted masterpiece– a sleigh-like bathing boat that contours to the body –sitting in the middle of a polished hardwood floor near a window in what appears to be a penthouse suite. What a beautiful place to die even if one wasn’t the son of the world’s greediest Jew.

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