Residents of cities besides New York should be concerned about the bed bug infestation that is driving millions mad here. The Big Apple is always the first metropolitan area to get the worm; it will not be long before the tiny little critters that resemble spiders spread across the land.
The flagship store of the shoe giant Nike on East 57th Street closed its doors due an invasion of bed bugs, just yesterday. It seems the recent invasion of blood-sucking insects is confined to neighborhoods where the wealthy reside. According to my domestic partner, ‘B’, someone is “spreading the little fuckers around” and doing it on purpose. B is convinced that the insects are being spread as a form of ecological terrorism—perhaps as a way to empty out this over populated city where only foreigners and Jews can afford rents here.
B is a receptionist at a mental health clinic in Manhattan and does not miss a thing—especially when it comes to rumors and conspiracy theories. B has reported that there has been a recent surge in “obsessive compulsive disorder” cases at the clinic where he earns a living. He explained that white people can’t stand bugs and often look upon an infestation of such insects as an indication that a family is ‘dirty’.
Anyone with bed bugs is a filthy bastard, as far as we’re concerned.