Dear Con Edison Employee,
Please stop banging on my door while I’m not home and cut off my electricity! My cats are terrified by the constant hounding. We prefer the solitude of darkness to the convenience of the modern world.
Leave no more postcards with my name written for all to see– just hanging on the door like a supermarket flyer. Surely my neighbors already know that I haven’t paid my bill. Stop littering.
Please know that the Human Resources Administration agreed on September 3rd to offer assistance paying my utility bill. I have no explanation as to why your office has not yet received payment. All I can offer is head. Do not come here again seeking cash.
I have worked as an unpaid employee with the city’s Housing Preservation and Development for the last four weeks. That is why I was not home when you left the postcard yesterday. It was my understanding that my service to the city as an indentured servant would assure a continual flow of stimulus currents to this address, but obviously, I’ve been had.
I’ve done all that I can, but much is going on in New York City:- Michael Bloomberg was running for re-election, the Yankees were in the world series, and of course, there was a full moon just the other day. I don’t need electricity.
I’ll be in the basement waiting. Please don’t knock no more on my door.
Charles George Taylor