“Rory is going to like you. I’m going to ask you to return for a formal interview,” the outgoing office manager of Venture Logistics promised. “It’s an easy job– just be here at 9. I couldn’t manage to do that, but surely you can,” the woman assured.
“How long have you been with the firm?” I asked the middle-aged woman with just a slight touch of grey at the roots of her reddish hair.
“I was with Rory when the firm was rolling in dough, long before the dot-com bubble broke,” she explained before picking up the phone that she somehow managed to monitor and answer during the course of our interview without losing her train of thought . “There are a few really intelligent and cool people who work here. You’ll like this job. I just can’t stand it anymore,” she explained after routing the call that came in.
“Can you come in tomorrow,” she asked without giving me much insight to what product or service the company actually produced.
“Sure. I work right down the street. Thank you.”
Rory Wilson looked just as the outgoing office manager had described– nerdish, bashful and he spoke just above a whisper.
Our interview was more like a blind date that had been arranged by a mutual friend. We spoke mostly of the changing times and how life and jobs in New York City had been reduce to e-mail pushing positions with little room for creativity and contentment.
“The woman who interviewed me for this job, your current office manager, shared that you developed the technology that is used for tracking penguins in Antarctica. I understand that the same patent covers the invention of the tiny chips that animal shelters place inside adopted pets. That’s amazing.”
“It was a breakthrough at the time,” Rory explained, “but the world is waiting for something new,” he shared.
“What could possibly be next?” I asked.
“I’m not sure,” he responded. “The truth is, computer technology has been developed to the fullest and finest capacity. Everything that can be done with computers has already been explored and developed. We have refined the microchip to the finest capacity possible and there are no new breakthroughs in the pipeline for computer technology. A new discovery that will change mankind will come along soon. Every twenty years or so there is a new invention, one that changes the way we live. Our goal at Venture Logistics is to be the first to make the discovery, as was done with our successful penguin tracking device.”
“Did you know that there are gay penguins?” I asked Rory. Before he could respond, I went on to explain that same sex penguin partners with a desire to incubate an egg and raise a chick trick real heterosexual penguins out of their eggs.
“How is that done?” Rory asked, realizing that his invention, although capable of watching almost every move the land-based creatures made, was not able to monitor such common occurrences in penguin society.
“One of the gay penguins does a dance, causing the true parents to momentarily forget their parental duties and their unhatched egg. The second gay penguin replaces the egg with a rock and the two run off with the prize.”
Rory responded, “I think you will be perfect for the job. I’ll check out your references today and get back to you. It has been a pleasure meeting you, Mr. Taylor.”
I returned to my job which was just around the corner from Venture Logistics and couldn’t wait to hand in my letter of resignation.
A week had passed and I hadn’t heard from Venture Logistics so I called the office manager who initially interviewed me.
“I’m calling to inquire as to whether you have made a decision on the office manager position.”
“I’m sorry, Mr. Taylor. I placed several phone calls to your current boss but she never returned our call, so we filled the position with another candidate.
I stormed into Joan Adam’s office at the Jewish Board of Family and Children’s Services to ask why she did not offer an employment reference.
“It’s against agency policy to offer references,” Joan explained. “I’m so sorry. I did intend to call them back. Listen– I need for you to write this proposal to the Weezie Foundation before Friday. What would I do without you, Charles? You can never leave here.”
I did a little dance and went back into my office and wrote the proposal to the Weezie Foundation, realizing that this is a very cold world that isn’t worth raising chicks in anyway.