Michelle Obama planned to hire a hairdresser to the stars. Left-wing social elites, in particular, the Black ones, know how to live it up and look good while in office and residing in Washington, D.C. The White House budget for chefs, cleaning, laundering, child care and interior decorating is almost three million dollars, annually. Michelle set aside one-quarter of the annual household budget for a hairdresser.
The first family makes the final decision on the White House budget. The Obamas planned to bring all their friends with them to Washington as ‘business associates’, as any first black family residing in the White House would do under such times of economic duress.
Even Michelle’s mother is in need room service. Friends and close associates will be added to the federal payroll, just as all presidents have done since Billy Carter. Jobs at the White House are as sought after as Elvis and Beetles Memorabilia. Presidents bring their own– it is their house and budget.
The new party– the new power– and the jobs that matter. In times of economic woe, when even the in-crowd of Hollywood are starving for well-paying, secure jobs, positions at the White House are difficult to obtain, because even there, there are budgets to balance.
Michelle Obama was delighted to receive a telegram from her childhood sweetheart during the campaign– Anthony Mueller– the famous designer came out of the woodwork. Anthony offered Michelle his Seventh Avenue connections and ravishing spring line as an opportunity to raise funding for the Obama presidential campaign. His traditional fashion runway show and sample sale was used as an opportunity to generate more than $100,000 for the presidential campaign.
Anthony must have read Michelle’s thoughts when she woke up the day after election day with bad-hair, only to realize that she was a far cry from Jackie Onasis. She would need the right ‘eye’ to get her there. Michelle would need an assistant like Anthony Mueller– her first love in life– the handsome, still youthful looking homosexual who just so happened to be a successful fashion designer in New York City.
Michelle and Anthony’s relationship ended in a sudden shock following a private confession from Anthony about sexual attraction and wanting to but not being able to. Anthony longed for her beauty but could never possess it like Barry had. Anthony sobbed on Michelle’s pretty shoulder and breasts after coming out to her. It was such a relief to have a woman like Michelle to come-out to while naked.
Barry was comfortable with Michelle’s close relationship to Anthony Mueller, the designer, and had no problems when Michelle, after spending the weekend in Chicago, returned to Washington to prepare for the glamour of the inauguration ceremonies and the Christmas holiday. She burst into the hotel room to inform her husband, the president-elect, that she was hiring Anthony at the White House for $110,000 for a month to lead in re-decorating projects–
“Did you see those curtains the Bushes had in those fine rooms?” Michelle asked. “Heaven only knows what went on in those rooms over the past eight years. It’s time for a fresh start– I need him, Barry. And the clothing, my image– I don’t think the purple was the right decision for election night. Did you see how big my ass looked?”
Barry smiled knowing that Michelle must have spent the weekend in Chicago shopping with her closest friend.
“How is Anthony? God love him,” Barry replied. “I don’t know, Michelle– there are security clearances that employees must pass for White House jobs– and Anthony’s time in prison– I just don’t know, Michelle.”
“I’ve already thought about that, B. Why not hire Anthony as just a consultant and not an employee of the White House?”
“Whatever you wish, Michelle. Just know that this was your idea…”
“Seriously– A president like you deserves the talents of a gifted image consultant. Anthony Mueller– you know his work, Barry. Can I please? He tells me he will mold me after Jackie Kennedy and you know how I adored that woman.”
“Of course. What about the puppy?” Barry reminded his wife.
“I can put Anthony on it right away. He’s more than just a designer, B. He’s a girl’s best friend.”
Anthony, like so many others during the onslaught of the second great depression, was a talented artist in need if a good job to stay afloat. Anthony was Michelle’s first love in life– the man who had taken her virginity, yet turned out to be gay– Anthony Mueller, the fashion designer and image consultant– Michelle never dreamed she could afford him.
Poor Barry, Michelle thought. To think my husband is so mature as to understand my relationship with flamboyant Anthony Mueller. She giggled, running her fingers through her hair, knowing that Anthony could do it up just right for inauguration day.
Michelle was prepared to face Sarah Palin wardrobe controversies. Remember what Nancy Regan did with the White House when Ronnie took over, she asked herself. Michelle couldn’t wait for the bar-b-ques in the Rose Garden. Laura Bush, during the Christmas season of 2008 spent $275,000 on White House Christmas decorations. Michelle would never waste money like that or make mistakes when sending out official White House invitations.
The Bushes were following a gaudy theme this holiday season, Michelle recalled. Red, white and blue? The concept must have originated from untalented interior decorator out of Texas, Michelle realized. The Bushes spent a quarter of a million dollars to decorate just the tourist areas of the First Family residence in Christmas trimmings, according to estimates from Anthony Mueller–
“You know how I can create lots from nothing, Michelle– Imagine what I could do with a White House budget,” he shrieked, grabbing Michelle by the shoulders, shaking her like the dolls he played with as a child. “Please get me the job, girl– you must,” he begged.
Laura Bush– the former librarian and First Lady was so tacky, according to Anthony. On her way out the door, she not only bled the White House decorating budget dry, but ruined the image of the first lady. She looked like a clown dressed in red (of all colors) to supplement the blue and white ornaments that were strung throughout the White House. Michelle and Anthony both thought Laura looked terrible dressed in red in the photograph that reporters took following the unveiling of 2008 White House Christmas decorations.
“Don’t ever wear red as a First Lady dear, unless of course, you are Avita reincarnated,” Anthony advised Michelle.
Michelle understood Laura’s attempt at going out with a flash of style had failed terribly. How embarrassing for Laura, Michelle thought. That could never happen in an Michelle Obama White House.
If funds from White House budgets are not spent, the money, set aside on top secret spreadsheets, immediately vanishes back into a network of complicated, lowly-detailed budgets which compose what is tied into the pentagon’s elusive ‘Gilgal Endowment Fund’– a special slush account that enables America’s rulers to shine, despite a failing economic environment. Decorating money is tied into the same secret budgets used for special scientific research and studies. The total amount set aside in the Gilgal Endowment Fund is uncertain, but since Lincoln, such an account has existed and First Ladies have been able to maintain the house of America’s dreams with style and sophistication.
Michelle imagined Laura Bush setting aside all the returned Jewish greeting cards with Christmas trees on the cover as scrap paper– but if she, like Michelle, had Anthony Mueller running the White House, not only would the fo pa never had happened, but Anthony would have managed to convince Ebay donors to purchase the Bush memorabilia as a means of covering Hillary Clinton’s campaign debt. Michelle hoped the current first lady wouldn’t simply throw the misguided cards in the trash.
Michelle had a few highways of her own to build with the Gilgal Endowment at her disposal. She wanted to bring the charm of First Lady back to the White House and make America lover her as they once loved Jackie Onassis. She, with Anthony Mueller in her corner, planned to remind America that a woman’s place was in the home and that there would not be a shortage of jobs in the economy if women just learned to become stay at home, pretty moms again.
“You know I never imagined we’d make it here,” Michelle noted to Barry as the two got dressed for a night out on the town. “Do I smell smoke in this hotel room?” Michelle asked. “Have you been smoking again, Barry?”
Barry, like Lincoln couldn’t tell a lie and replied, “Yes. I’m sorry. But if Anthony Mueller is back, then so are the cigarettes…