What went on in the President Elect’s mind the morning after receiving anti-terror inoculations
With a buttered croissant held gently between the index and middle fingers of his left hand, Barry prepared to reach across party lines. As flakes of pastry settled like dandruff upon a leather briefcase, he searched for a Pentagon-secure SCIP phone and after discovering the thin device tucked inside the breast pocket of a suit coat, next to a pack of cigarettes, he commenced to dialing the first number on a handwritten list of many.
Barry used his right thumb to press tiny keys even though he was more efficient dialing the phone with his left hand. Despite a thick pat of butter that melted slowly upon his devilish-pink tongue, the new President pressed the ‘talk’ key to make his first connection to the Right.
Barry was prepared to smooth-over objections to a newly proposed financial rescue package designed to salvage America’s clunkers of capitalism: the automotive industry. The Big Three, it seemed, would no longer serve as the nation’s economic backbone. Personally, Barrack would be delighted to see the automotive giants slain by the David of clean energy programming, but with very little time to respond to a pending depression, he made the important calls to support the corporations he planned to one day bring down for good.
Swaddled in the luxury of a hand-woven, wool housecoat, Barry suddenly craved another cigarette and a second cup of coffee. Nicotine would make the phone conversations tolerable.
Michelle wasn’t due back in Washington until Sunday and Barry was in no mood simply dispose of the pack of cigarettes that secret service agent Jason North purchased for him while Barry was inside the Pentagon’s medical center receiving vaccinations for almost every germ under the sun.
The task of sucking-up, politically to foes was Barry’s political forte. The reason he made it to the White House had nothing to do with the color of his skin– as a half-white man in unpassable skin, Barry had mastered the skill of charm. White women in particular were mesmerized by the slowly greying new leader of the free world. The passes women made at him during the campaign were obscene. The women almost ruined a near- perfect union with Michelle. If it were not for secret service and the flag button that Barry wore on his lapel, women would have tossed the popular politician their underwear and bras during rallies.
If Barry wanted to win votes for the bailout, he knew where to start. He wished he could assign the task of making phone calls to Hillary Clinton and spend the afternoon in bed– waking only to have a cigarette and read passages from the important books he carried in his briefcase.
There was so much on the young president’s mind. He would keep his conversations simple– congratulating new Republican members of congress on their political victories, and demonstrating to them that he is willing to cross party lines for the sake of American salvation. Barry quickly lit cigarette– waving the hand freed from a devoured French pastry, to rush the smoke away. He didn’t want the smell of smoke lingering on even the hotel’s complimentary robe.
A congressional aide picked up the telephone in Roz Lickstein’s office as Barry exhaled and asked to speak to the new congresswoman from Clear Channel, Florida. Moments passed as Barry finished his Newport. He imagined staff wondering if indeed the call, identified on caller I.D. as “Ring Tone One” was for real and if the voice, sounding almost muffled, was truly the new president calling or simply a prank phone call from bloggers, hackers and radio station dj’s.
As he waited for his call to be taken, Barry recalled the advice Jimmy Carter had offered at the Pentagon the day before, following a special briefing on the Roswell incident and the Gilgal Project. Jimmy Carter made his points regarding the bailouts quite clear. The peanut farmer’s tongue was a bit stuck to the roof of his mouth as he explained the process in which the Israeli military was funded, and why now, during near- perfect times for worldwide ruin, does the jewel of God turn her back to us? There was so much information from that meeting to digest. The Bush father and son team along with Bill Clinton quickly hushed Carter– explaining to Barry that indeed he had very little power as President to change anything in regards to the sanctity of a reunited Israel and the promise of the Gilgal’s fortunes for mankind. Clinton insisted that Barry remain committed to preserving that which was started in World War II and press for financial support for America’s automakers.
Congresswoman Lickstein finally came to the phone, and after Barry slowly introduced himself, she hung-up on him. Barry laughed while snuffing out his cigarette and pressed re-dial. She must have thought he was a prank caller. Barry was going to have so much fun with text messaging and phone calling, as president. He poured a second cup of coffee for himself and added just enough milk to taint the hot liquid brown, in the shade of Michelle’s buttocks.
“This is Barack Obama, Mrs. Lickstein–”
She hung up again.
Barry rubbed his sore right shoulder and pressed re-dial again, recalling the promise to his daughters and the media’s frenzy over the first puppy. Was it true? Barry was now immune to the common cold? Funny he thought– allergies, cancers and asthma can be cured with a microscopic computer chip, but information known about Gilgal is wasted on tracking devices for pets, and not the common good. Developments of new technologies are delayed over patent disputes and catastrophic dangers associated with Gilgal molecule research.
Every nation has its own research initiative to investigate the psychics of element-manufacturing. It is believed that North Korea has perfected the discovery and waits to unleash the wrath of an unstoppable biological nerve agent– one that does not kill, but lames upon principle of human ecstacy– emotional highs from with which people never come down. Barry remembered the crack pandemic. Society in a state of pure bliss? The concept, in theory does put any enemy nation to one’s side of the equation during peace talks.
A discovery made from what was first thought to be alien aircraft, or UFO’s, proved to be the spark that would one day get man to the mountain top.
And to think our nation was led astray in the 1970’s by great men like Jimmy Carter who despite their position as president, kept information private from its citizens for the sake of simply surviving as a nation, and not growing in harmony. The discovery was not of aliens, but of messages sent from far away space. The ‘crashed craft’ were similar to transmissions NASA and private entities shoot into deep space via microwaves. The messages were from humans, though. The craft were sent here from the future, a place that exists just as galaxies in far-away space time do, in an area of the Big Bang where things have already taken place and fallen to ruin. Barry remembered reading that Jimmy Carter claimed to see a UFO and admitted to such reports, even as president. Was it true? A cure for AIDS yet we don’t use it?
Following a third and final phone call to the congresswoman in Clear Channel, Florida, Roz picked up the phone and started to believe. After Barry congratulated her on a political victory, Roz, in a heated phone flutter, promised that she would indeed vote for an automaker bailout package and that his words in regards to economic collapse were sincere and bipartisan.
Barry then, without having another cigarette despite a slight urge, dialed Bud Schuster of Pennsylvania. Barry was first told by staff in Harrisburg that Mr. Schuster was in a meeting, but the properly caller-identified transmission was immediately routed to the individual who had inadvertently been misrepresented by a congressional aide.
As president, Barry would have a direct ‘red-phone’ to anyone he wished to speak with and he planned to add Jamie Dimon of JP Morgan Chase to his ‘buddy list’ as well. People would learn to take his calls and radio stations and rap artists would enjoy a piece of his fame.
Office staff and secretaries, although often well intended, serve as mere body guards to those who must be called to carpet. Barry would not use a personal secretary in the Oval Office– just a special secret service agent like Jason North– to take care of the little things, like puppies, that the president and his family need. Barry looked forward to the afternoon’s agenda, following his calls to congress people across America. He would dive into a good book, then take a run perhaps, in Washington at night– dressed inconspicuously, covered in a hoodie, with just one or two secret service men following close behind. Bill Clinton did it all the time– Just Barry and his I-Pod and a microscopic chip in his shoulder, ready to rake Washington like a cotton gin…