When the weather gets hot like it was today, I dust off my crockpot. Slow cooking was designed for straight days like this.
Why heat up the house with a gas stove on a day like today? The tiny air conditioner in the bedroom hardly cools this dusty old place. What to make? I am hungry for ribs. The supermarket on the corner had fresh, deep red beef ribs (short ribs) for $4.00 a pound.
Three packages will fill both me and my lover. He always makes love to me after eating this dish– one of my secret gay man recipes. This is how I trap my men. Keep them coming back, no matter how good the sex may or may not be elsewhere. I invented this dish after my first gay divorce when I was still fat and nobody wanted me. It’s good soul food for those with lonely hearts.
The ribs are seared in a cast iron skillet in a small handful of Crisco shortening. Three minutes at high heat on two sides is enough to brown them.
After all the ribs have been browned and placed carefully in the crockpot, add a can of beef broth to the empty skillet. Use the same can for measuring in an equal portion of red wine, from Australia, if available in local markets.
A green pepper sliced in thick strips makes this this a Mexican favorite. Place the pepper over the ribs in the slow cooker.
Stir the wine broth in the skillet, removing any brown bits stuck to the pan. Add a packet of Ortega Taco Seasoning powder to the broth. Stir to boiling, then dump over the meat and peppers.
Cook at low heat for six hours. Make a pot of rice, a dish of mashed potatoes, and pan of green peas soaked in margarine.
Bon Appetite and Happy Gay Pride Day, B. Style.