The price of cigarettes in New York City will be increasing to $10 a pack soon. Bloomberg is huffing and puffing away at the purse strings of the working class in this town again. It was announced on Fox 5 news this morning that during this time of recession, when the price of milk and eggs are already skyrocketing, that the sexy people in this town will soon pay fifty cents for a single cigarette.
Earlier this week, a vote was offered at city hall, authorizing a new tax for all vehicles entering the city. Drivers will now cough up $8 just to cross from Brooklyn into Manhattan. If one smokes and drives, financial ruin is inevitable.
It’s time for New York City to host its own Boston Tea party, folks! Let us remind city hall of what taxation without representation costs a government. Let us go for the jugular this time and protest this new tax with style.
I propose that all smokers assemble on the steps of City Hall this afternoon dressed as fat people. Let us all stuff our clothing with pillows and march from One Centre Street to the waterfront along the East River in protest of this new tax that is designed to encourage people to stop smoking. Stuff those pillows tight and let us make it appear as if we are all pregnant women.
New York smokers understand that the new smoking tax is designed to reduce healthcare cost associated with lung disease, but its time for us to put our feet down and stomp out the smoldering greed of those trying to balance a budget.
If our local governments are so concerned about the health of the masses as a whole, let us remind our leaders that heart disease, high blood pressure, strokes, heart attacks and ugliness are caused by overeating and if our government is in the business of taxing the working poor out of bad habits, let us pass a food tax on the fat asses in this town.
The city must place scales inside all restaurants and grocery stores in town. Anyone who is more than one pound overweight must pay twice the amount for their food. Imagine the long- term savings this new law will have on our burned out healthcare system.
At noon today we will pull the pillows from under our clothing and dump our down feathers into the river under the Brooklyn Bridge as an act of protest.
It should not cost so much to tar and feather our lungs. If we choose not to live long lives in a world dominated by multi-millionaires, that should be our decision to make, not Michael Bloomberg’s.
Some of us do not need to buy our way into public life to feel as though we have accomplished success. Some of us live simple lives. We do not need our egos stroked by using the money we made by running slave-like corporations to win an elected office. We are find peace in life by simply lighting up from time to time.
Our bad habits should not be of concern to a mayor who fires pregnant women from his multimillion dollar corporations simply to save a buck on long-term leaves of absence. Michael Bloomberg is the man with the really bad habit, not the smokers and drivers in New York City.
Bring some Twinkies to the protest just in case Bloomberg shows up. We will toss the cream filled cakes at him if dares to make an appearance at our fat ass parade.