Cornelius Cornelius was not like other Johns from Stellas bar. He was a listener. Prostitution never felt sinful when I was with him. The $500 I made each time was a drop in the bucket. I sensed true friendship from him. My experiment wasn’t working out like I thought it would– turning tricks for cash. In all honesty, I lost my faith and God and for at a time in my life, didn’t believe He truly exists, so I put it to the test– that thing called ‘sin’. Robbing a bank was not an option, besides, almost everyone takes things that do not belong to them passing through life. Was it true that thou shalt not tempt the lord thy God? The sex trade wasn’t my way of tempting Him, I just wanted to see if He is really here because in all honesty, the world didn’t seem that way. Life got terribly boring for me in my ‘30s. There was nothing to write about– no plot, no excitement– just my day- to- day job at which I made a decent salary considering that I only have a high school education. The gym kept me going. Went there almost every day for an hour or so. My body felt free again. People seemed to treat me so much nicer when I got muscular and in-shape, compared to when I was 245 pounds.
Down to 165. It changed my world. That’s why I did it– all that new found love and attention. Why now God? What now? I decided to be a male whore as a test of faith.
“Would you like to join me for dinner at one of my favorite restaurants?” The stranger asked after our first encounter. “Have you eaten yet?”
“Why not join me for the best T-bone steak on the Upper East Side?”
“Do they serve real mashed potatoes?”
“As a matter of fact they do.”
He knew so much patience with me. The stranger stole my heart and filled my pockets.
“How old are you?” He asked while passing me a laminated menu with just a few items to select from– the steak, Alaskan King Crab legs, a rack of lamb, some things for the vegetarians and a simple dessert menu.
I told him the truth– “Thirty-two.”
“Unbelievable. You look so young. That’s strange,” he said.
“I typically like guys much younger than you. I can’t believe I have such attraction to you. That felt incredible, Will. Thank you for that.”
I took the compliment in stride and asked a waitress chick, obviously a college girl, for diet Pepsi to go with my medium-rare order.
“Will is not my name. It’s Charles, and here is your money back. Honestly, this was just an experiment for me. In all reality, I didn’t do this for the cash.”
“Oh neither did I young man, neither did I? Will you spend the night with me tonight for two grand.”
“I can’t. Honestly, no. I can’t. It’s wrong.”
“What do you mean?”
“Oh look, the food is here. Because, Cornelius, someone hurt me in my past. I didn’t always look like this you know.
He smiled as I was being honest about what was causing a ‘glow’ all around me, especially in the bedroom. I could make men like him cum by just looking at them the right way. I felt his lonliness.
My teenage lover, a guy I met in the Army left me because I got fat. I’ll never trust another man in my bed at night.”