Lucy and the Saint

Rather than abandon my insatiable craving for cigarettes with the psychological assistance of a nicotine patch or the bitter gum, I have slowly weaned myself from the smoldering magic wands that have kept me calm for nearly two decades by limiting myself first to a half a pack a day, then just five, and now [...]

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Getting Off My Knees

Despite the criticism I unleashed last week regarding the “Back to Work Program” at Goodwill Industries, I have changed my attitude towards this so-called charity and will forevermore write and speak highly of this institution that has rescued me from all my despair.
Just getting up at the crack of dawn and reporting somewhere before [...]

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Off the Cuff

Having just thirty minutes of internet time here at the main branch of the Brooklyn Public Library; I find myself typing words from a hand-written piece of paper, dictating on this modern version of the typewriter, words that were crafted the ancient way—one letter at a time—some in cursive, others in standard, elementary print—my free-flowing [...]

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Adventures of the Food Stamp Queen

It’s not easy to milk the public welfare system when over ten percent of New York City’s workforce is unemployed and many more are starving due to the loss of trust funds to the Bernard Madoff scandal.
Lines at the welfare office at 500 DeKalb Avenue extend onto the sidewalks outside, but I marched my lily-white [...]

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