A Crick Runs Through It

“Get your skinny asses inside the car,” Bill Miller yelled as he slowed the Plymouth LTD by pressing a worn break pedal with a cheap penny loafer. He wore his black penny loafers everywhere, even as house slippers while at home. The only time he put on boots was when he went to work in [...]

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Wolly Bear Caterpillar

A convoy of clunker cars and rusty pick-up trucks slowly progressed along freshly painted roadway PA 26 towards State College and Whipple Dam. The distance between bumpers was just a few yards and if the chain of traveling Millers had been viewed from high above the canopy of trees, perhaps through the eyes of a [...]

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Whipple Dam

Fish caught out of waters beyond the Juniata River watershed tasted better to Bill Miller’s children than the catfish snagged from the muddy creek that ran on the outskirts of the family property. There is but one method for preparing whiskered catfish for consumption, but freshwater farm-raised trout can be filleted into strips as thin [...]

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The Little Juniata

Fish that live and breathe with gills in the brown waters of the Little Juniata River are not as tasty as rainbow and brook trout that are caught in abundance from banks of mountain streams and man-made lakes and dams scattered throughout South-Central Pennsylvania – Whipple Damn, Raystown Lake, Trough Creek State Park, Greenwood Furnace, [...]

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Fried Green Zucchini

A Bermuda High Pressure system has settled in over the Atlantic causing the weather in the Northeast to turn humid and damp. A series of tropical waves crashed through Brooklyn last evening. Perhaps with the changes in the jet stream, the curse that has hung high above me like a scorching July sun since December [...]

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Stellas– the My Space of Man Whores

Victor E. Browne stumbled across My Space. The body builder with steroid breath tracked me down on the social networking phenomena, causing the site to send me an automatic e-mail per his tweet.
“Yes, Victor,” I wrote in reply, “It is me, the heartthrob—the one who nearly caused you to slit your wrists when I dumped [...]

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America’s Favorite Fishing Hole

A muddy crick flows like molasses through Petersburg. Westerly breezes infused by pollen from creek bank honeysuckle are sweet enough to cause cavities. Winds in Petersburg, on misty summer mornings, sting nostrils with a salty aroma—a slight seasoning is in the air—the smoke from passing locomotives.
Burnt coal spewed into the atmosphere from the volcanoes [...]

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When ATMs Run Dry

There will likely be another major market meltdown by the end of the summer. It is my hope that when the  Dow Jones industrial average dips below 6,500 again that major panic breaks out and lawlessness erupts across the land— this is the only way that America will be a land of hope again.
As states begin [...]

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Long Island’s Nude Beach

Public exposure and lewdness laws are sometimes ignored in sandy parts of New York City’s suburbs—look below particularly high dunes and well-hidden alcoves along the Long Island coast near Jones Beach. Walk down by the famous black and white lighthouse in Robert Moses State Park, and there, one fond of running around ass-naked in front [...]

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The Suckers of Prospect Park

The gay cruise section of Prospect Park is infested with mosquitoes this summer, but thanks to Nivea firming body lotion, I have been sucked just a few times by these terrible creatures that seem to thrive in this part of the park. The European body lotion does more than prevent wrinkles and sooth chapped skin—it [...]

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