Teenage Jesus

As a child, Aunt Martha reminded Jesus every day that he was the one. After he finished his chores, pulling grains of wheat from long green stems, she sat him down on her lap and told him the story of how he became the bread of life.

Wise men treaded from the East and found him as a newborn in the stalls of Bethlehem – the place where those without proper Jewish fathers were secretly brought into the world. There were several children in Israel born on Christmas Day. Some have said a dozen, others thirteen. They all were spit forth from the bowls of Bethlehem on the night of the giant nova. According to unpublished, ancient legend, flamboyant men dressed as women crowned more than one child as “Christ,” the savior of the world, on the first Christmas day.
There was never such a commotion in all of Israel as the evening the drag queens came into town, offering their gifts to the children born in the ghetto. Jews wondered who these children were and what they meant to their culture. They did not understand why the queens were making such a fuss over the children who were born out of wedlock. There was, as scripture had promised, so much commerce pouring into the lands ever since the night of the giant star’s appearance and the sudden birth of so many fatherless children. Some started to believe that a savior had returned, but most never imagined that he would return in the form of a child. Most thought he would be a warrior. The three men from the Orient knew more than the Jews about the signs in the heavens, for they understood astrology and time in a three dimensional level.

The three queens found the child moments after he came out of Mary. They washed the blood from between his mother’s legs with expensive perfumes and oils, stood in unusual contorted positions and chanted languages that Mary and Joseph did not know, but thought was kind of cool. “Why did they do that?” Jesus asked his aunt.

“Because you are the One,” Martha explained. “They said they wanted salvation too and not simply be just fabulous and gay.”

“How fierce,” Jesus shouted while sitting on her knee even though by then, the boy was twelve years old.
Martha, like the homosexuals, knew that Yeshua was the son of God. Her grandfather once told a story over a fire about how that one day, the son of David would be born as a child and in her family’s bloodline. It all started to make sense as the boy started to grow older.

Following the birth of her nephew, she started having vivid dreams. She, like so many, started to believe that indeed the son of God had been born in Israel. They waited so long for a king. Martha knew she would hold him as a baby in her arms, she was told that in a dream.

“The child will need a surrogate. Mary has done her part,” the angel Michael said to her in a dream. “And remember this— he is the son of all, not just yours.”

She knew it was not proper for her to feed the Christ child with her own breasts. She once tried though, just to see how it would feel. Mary wasn’t around and Martha knew that there was no real milk in her bosom, but she let the child pretend to drink from her. She wanted to bond with the babe. Michael’s heavy voice threatened her in her dreams, telling her not to breastfeed the child again, but she did anyway, simply because she wanted to.

Martha was concerned for her nephew as he got older. He killed a playmate by wishing him dead. The boy dropped the very instant Jesus prayed for the brat’s end. Nobody would go within twenty feet of Jesus after the silent murder. There was no question as to which of the thirteen boys would become the savior of Israel. He brought his playmate back to life though, after his aunt Martha insisted that he do it. Jesus didn’t realize he had such powers until the moment Martha pulled him from his Father’s bosom.

“Touch him and say one of your prayers, Jesus. Bring him back to us.”

He did it. The boy savior prayed for his dead playmate and returned him to life, but the task had taken nearly all energy from the young man.

The high priests of the temple confronted Joseph about their son and demanded that he be placed in their care, following his first official resurrection. Joseph refused their demands.

Jesus heard the priests protesting to his father Joseph. The young boy played in the mud, not really concerned about what the men were discussing, but after noticing anger in Joseph’s face, he made twelve balls of clay and tossed them in the direction of the priests.

They were terrified of the boy and the mudslinging. They knew that Jesus could kill them if so he wished.
The clay balls turned into sparrows and flew away, not harming the priests.