Advair Causes Pneumonia

Bradley was angry at me for going home to Pennsylvania without taking him. We hardly spoke upon my return. To make matters worse, the hard cover copy of ‘Backslidden’ arrived in the mail while I was away. He read the last chapter.

“Why the fuck am I not in it?” He asked as he slammed the book down on our white marble coffee table as I quietly shut the front door upon my arrival back in Brooklyn.

“You didn’t read the entire book. You are missing its point.”

“I don’t need to read the whole damn thing. I see what it’s about.”

“Think about it, ‘B’, the book is called ‘Backslidden’. Why would I write about you in such a book? I have written far more than those 116 pages, most of which is about you. It simply hasn’t been published yet. I’m not done with your story.”

I was angry at myself and understood his point. I should never have shown him the finished product by scheduling the delivery of the hardcover while I was away in Three Springs. He has never opened up my mail, but I told him it was going to arrive any day now.

“My book should be here today or tomorrow, ‘B’. Please keep an eye out for it. The mailman will not be able to fit it in the mailbox. Bring it inside if it arrives,” I instructed while giving my lover $50 in spending cash while I was away. I figured the money would keep him honest.

I smiled as a screamed at me. I quickly picked up the gorgeous manuscript and looked inside to test the quality of the paper it was printed on. It’s the good stuff– off-white with a nice textured feel to it. The paper is so fine that it could be used for wedding invitations.

“Fuck you, Charles. I do not deserve this. You must really miss Shawn to have written so much about him. I sat here watching you write for five years. Your mind was on someone else, not me.”

I was in no position to argue with him. I didn’t mention him in the book, but only because I was superstitious while writing it. I wanted it to be a story that Shawn would love to read.

I wrote from a fictional angle yet told the truth from an exaggerated position while recovering from Schizophrenia. I fantasied that on the other side, in the light, in heaven, Shawn has viewing rights to the book. I wrote it with him in mind, even though it seems at times he is gone from reality for good. I didn’t want to scratch in my love for ‘B’ over the soft, velvety pages of my first novel. It simply wouldn’t have worked out the way I had envisioned from the start.

Every word was almost perfectly crafted from my soul. Despite the numerous typos, misspellings and improper use of commas, those pages have my heart hidden within them and I wanted the story to be something that Shawn would love to read if given the opportunity.

“How many copies did you sell?”

“Twenty-one.”

“Jesus Christ!” Bradley shouted as if we were on the best seller list.

“It’s mostly family, ‘B’. It’s not like I’m in Barnes and Noble or anything.”

“What if it were to take-off like a Jay-Z bootleg CD? People would not even know that I existed in your life.

He was right.

“I’m sorry, but if you would only read my other writings you would see how I feel about you.”

“I don’t need to read anything of yours. How dare you! He treated you like shit, Charles. He never loved you or he would not have put your life at risk like he did. Fuck you Charles. Trust me, I know niggas, and Shawn did not love you like I love you.”

I said nothing. There was nothing to say. It was all there on the coffee table in black and white, just as ‘B’ has pointed out.

He was so upset, he caught a terrible cold. Two days later, he went to the emergency room. They kept him last night. It was a bad case of pneumonia. Thank heavens it is not associated with AIDS or HIV. I could not go through that fire again. It was only pneumonia.

According to the physicians at Long Island University hospital, the infection was likely caused by an Advair inhaler he breathes from once in a while. The potent medication is a steroid prescribed for severe asthma. According to the doctors, his level of asthma does not warrant such heavy medications.

I didn’t go to work today. I went to pick him up in the hospital. I expected the worse, but he’s better now. He’s back in our bed sleeping. He said they kept waking him up last night to take blood. He could not rest properly, like he does next to me .He’s sleeping now. God does answer prayers.

I got the urge to write again and start a new book. This one is called “Gold Tooth”.

I’m going to take a nap first, but beware, I’ll awake soon.